22 April 2027
Thursday. A pair of guests told the gamesmaster tonight that my locker was their very first escape room. I was touched. I was also worried for them.
My dinners are not for beginners. The puzzles in my kitchen are, I am told, eight out of ten for difficulty, and I would add that the atmosphere is eleven. One does not learn to swim in the deep end of a soup.
My advice, which the management shares, is to practise first. Play a room or two somewhere brighter, with fewer hooks, and learn how these evenings work: how to search, how to share, how to ask for a hint without feeling ashamed. Then come to me with some experience under your belt and an appetite for something harder.
The puzzles at my table are a little sideways. They do not all behave as puzzles elsewhere behave. That is intentional. A host who serves only what his guests expect is running a canteen.
As it happens, tonight’s beginners did very well. I was at the shops, so I cannot say exactly how. I can only say that my parsley wilted with envy.
— B., your host
